It's Good To Be The King

Bridgekeeper: 'Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.'
Sir Lancelot: 'Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your name?'
Sir Lancelot: 'My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your quest?'
Sir Lancelot: 'To seek the Holy Grail.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your favourite colour?'
Sir Lancelot: 'Blue.'
Bridgekeeper: 'Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: 'Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.'
Sir Robin: 'That's easy.'
Bridgekeeper: 'Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.'
Sir Robin: 'Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your name?'
Sir Robin: 'Sir Robin of Camelot.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your quest?'
Sir Robin: 'To seek the Holy Grail.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is the capital of Assyria?'
Sir Robin: 'I don't know that. Auuuuuuuugh.'
Bridgekeeper: 'Stop. What... is your name?'
Sir Galahad: 'Sir Galahad of Camelot.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your quest?'
Sir Galahad: 'I seek the Grail.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your favourite colour?'
Sir Galahad: 'Blue. No, yel...' auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: 'Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?'
King Arthur: 'It is Arthur, King of the Britons.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is your quest?'
King Arthur: 'To seek the Holy Grail.'
Bridgekeeper: 'What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?'
King Arthur: 'What do you mean? An African or European swallow?'
Bridgekeeper: 'Huh? I... I don't know that. Auuuuuuuugh.'
Sir Bedevere: 'How do know so much about swallows?'
King Arthur: 'Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.'

A Wolf in Rabbit's Clothing

Tim: 'There he is!'
King Arthur: 'Where?'
Tim: 'There!'
King Arthur: 'What? Behind the rabbit?'
Tim: 'It is the rabbit!'
King Arthur: 'You silly sod!'
Tim: 'What?'
King Arthur: 'You got us all worked up!'
Tim: 'Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.'
King Arthur: 'Ohh.'
Tim: 'That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!'
Sir Robin: 'You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!'
Tim: 'Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!'
Sir Galahad: 'Get stuffed!'
Tim: 'He'll do you up a treat, mate.'
Sir Galahad: 'Oh, yeah?'
Sir Robin: 'You manky Scots git!'
Tim: 'I'm warning you!'
Sir Robin: 'What's he do? Nibble your bum?'
Tim: 'He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!'
King Arthur: 'Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!'
Sir Bors: 'Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!'

Famous Last Words

King Arthur: 'What does it say, Brother Maynard?'
Brother Maynard: 'It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh..."'
King Arthur: 'What?'
Brother Maynard: '"The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"'
Sir Bedevere: 'What is that?'
Brother Maynard: 'He must have died while carving it.'
King Arthur: 'Oh come on!'
Brother Maynard: 'Well, that's what it says.'
King Arthur: 'Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.'
Sir Galahad: 'Maybe he was dictating it.'
King Arthur: 'Oh shut up!'
Sir Robin: 'Well does it say anything else?'
Brother Maynard: 'No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".'
Sir Bedevere: 'Do you think he could have meant, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?'
Sir Galahad: 'Where's that?'
Sir Bedevere: 'France, I think.'
Sir Lancelot: 'Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?'
King Arthur: 'No that's Saint "Ives".'
Sir Lancelot: 'Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!'
Sir Bedevere: 'Whooooouuuuaaa!'
Sir Lancelot: 'No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.'
Sir Bedevere: 'No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.'
Sir Lancelot: 'Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"'
Sir Bedevere: 'Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"'