Brian: 'Should we let it breathe?'
Doug: 'It hasn't breathed for fifty years, it's dead. Let's just drink it'
Showing posts with label Douglas Coughlin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douglas Coughlin. Show all posts
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Coughlin's Laws
'Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.'
'Coughlin's Law; Anything else is always something better.'
'Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she'll always hear you.'
'Coughlin's Law; Bury the dead, they stink up the place.'
'Coughlin's diet: cocktails and dreams.'
'Coughlin's Law: Never show surprise, never lose your cool.'
'I don't care how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.'
'However, falling down the stairs is allowed!'
'As for the rest of Coughlin's Laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit.'
'Coughlin's Law; Anything else is always something better.'
'Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she'll always hear you.'
'Coughlin's Law; Bury the dead, they stink up the place.'
'Coughlin's diet: cocktails and dreams.'
'Coughlin's Law: Never show surprise, never lose your cool.'
'I don't care how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.'
'However, falling down the stairs is allowed!'
'As for the rest of Coughlin's Laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit.'
Overheard at the Bar
'When you see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent. Stick with me son and I'll make you a star.' ~ Doug
'Days get shorter and shorter, nights longer and longer, before you know it, your life is just one long night with a few comatose daylight hours.' ~ Brain
'Workers never hustle, and hustlers never work. You, my friend, are a worker.' ~ Doug
'This place is a proctologist's dream. Wall to wall assholes.' ~ Doug
'Beer is for breakfast young Flannigan, drink or be gone.' ~ Doug
'You bitch! Why didn't you just say a rum and Coke?!' ~ Brian
'Everything ends badly, otherwise, it would never end.' ~ Brian
'The money's gone, the brain is shot. But the liquor, we still got.' ~ Doug
'Days get shorter and shorter, nights longer and longer, before you know it, your life is just one long night with a few comatose daylight hours.' ~ Brain
'Workers never hustle, and hustlers never work. You, my friend, are a worker.' ~ Doug
'This place is a proctologist's dream. Wall to wall assholes.' ~ Doug
'Beer is for breakfast young Flannigan, drink or be gone.' ~ Doug
'You bitch! Why didn't you just say a rum and Coke?!' ~ Brian
'Everything ends badly, otherwise, it would never end.' ~ Brian
'The money's gone, the brain is shot. But the liquor, we still got.' ~ Doug
About the Waitresses
Brian: 'You're offering me a job?'
Doug: 'Uh huh.'
Brian: 'The waitresses hate me!'
Doug: 'You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.'
Doug: 'Uh huh.'
Brian: 'The waitresses hate me!'
Doug: 'You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.'
Cocktail (1988)
Brian: 'I'm looking for the Manager.'
Doug: 'What's the problem? Did you find a hair in your quiche?'
Brian: 'No, I'm looking for a job.'
Doug: 'Ah, you'd like to put a hair in somebody else's quiche.'
Doug: 'What's the problem? Did you find a hair in your quiche?'
Brian: 'No, I'm looking for a job.'
Doug: 'Ah, you'd like to put a hair in somebody else's quiche.'
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