Random Tap

'As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.' ~ Mick Shrimpton
'In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?' ~ David St. Hubbins
'Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.' ~ Ian Faith
'It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'We are Spinal Tap from the UK - you must be the USA!' ~ David St. Hubbins
'I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.' ~ David St. Hubbins
'Have...a good time...all the time.' ~ Viv Savage
'I'm tired of sticking up for his intelligence.' ~ David St. Hubbins

Eleven

Had to put up the whole eleven exchange:

Nigel Tufnel: 'The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...'
DiBergi: 'Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?'
Nigel Tufnel: 'Exactly.'
DiBergi: 'Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?'
Nigel Tufnel: 'Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?'
DiBergi: 'I don't know.'
Nigel Tufnel: 'Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?'
DiBergi: 'Put it up to eleven.'
Nigel Tufnel: 'Eleven. Exactly. One louder.'
DiBergi: 'Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?'
Nigel Tufnel: 'These go to eleven.'

Spinal Tap Album Reviews

'This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, "What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?"'

'This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.'

'The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".'

Kick My Ass

Artie Fufkin: 'You know what I want you to do? Will you do something for me?'
David St. Hubbins: 'What?'
Artie Fufkin: 'Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I'm not asking, I'm telling with this. Kick my ass.'

Playing Rock and Roll

DiBergi: 'Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?'
Derek Smalls: 'No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.'
DiBergi: 'So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?'
Derek Smalls: 'Yeah.'

18 Inches

Ian Faith: 'Nigel gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.'
David St. Hubbins: 'But you're not as confused as him are you. I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel.'

Stonehenge

David St. Hubbins: 'I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.'
Ian Faith: 'I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.'
Derek Smalls: 'Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.'

More Spinal Tap

As I mentioned yesterday, I kinda thought quoting Spinal Tap might take two or three days:

DiBergi: 'It's very pretty.'
Tufnel: 'Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.'
DiBergi: 'It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.'
Tufnel: 'It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.'
DiBergi: 'It's very nice.'
Tufnel: 'You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...'
DiBergi: 'What do you call this?'
Tufnel: 'Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".'

Spinal Tap

Today's quotes are from 'This Is Spinal Tap' (this might take two days):

'You can't really dust for vomit.' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.' ~ David St. Hubbins
'Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.' ~ David St. Hubbins
'You know, several, you know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.' ~ David St. Hubbins
'It's like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black.' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'These go to eleven.' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'He died in a bizarre gardening accident' ~ David St. Hubbins
'We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.' ~ Nigel Tufnel
'He was the patron saint of quality footwear.' ~ David St. Hubbins

Okay. Maybe three days.