Monday, November 9, 2009

Black as Night, Stupid as Wood

King Arthur: 'You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.'
King Arthur: 'I am Arthur, King of the Britons.'
King Arthur: 'I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.'
King Arthur: 'You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?'
King Arthur: 'You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!'
Black Knight: 'None shall pass.'
King Arthur: 'What?'
Black Knight: 'None shall pass!'
King Arthur: 'I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.'
Black Knight: 'Then you shall die.'
King Arthur: 'I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!'
Black Knight: 'I move for no man.'
King Arthur: 'So be it!'
King Arthur: 'Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!'
Black Knight: ''Tis but a scratch!'
King Arthur: 'A scratch? Your arm's off!'
Black Knight: 'No, it isn't!'
King Arthur: 'Well, what's that then?'
Black Knight: 'I've had worse.'
King Arthur: 'You liar!'
Black Knight: 'Come on, you pansy!'
King Arthur: 'Victory is mine!'
King Arthur: 'We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -'
Black Knight: 'Come on, then.'
King Arthur: 'What?'
Black Knight: 'Have at you!'
King Arthur: 'You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!'
Black Knight: 'Oh, had enough, eh?'
King Arthur: 'Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!'
Black Knight: 'Right, I'll do you for that!'
King Arthur: 'You'll what?'
Black Knight: 'Come here!'
King Arthur: 'What are you gonna do, bleed on me?'
Black Knight: 'I'm invincible!'
King Arthur: '...You're a loony.'
Black Knight: 'All right, we'll call it a draw.'
King Arthur: 'Come, Patsy.'
Black Knight: 'Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!'

No comments:

Post a Comment