The Heart of the Problem

Texas Ranger: 'Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they?'
Reese Bobby: 'That's a good call.'

Walker, Texas Ranger

'Shut those mutts up before I cook 'em and eat 'em!' ~ Texas Ranger
'My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbors dog to drink it. But he wouldn't.' ~ Walker
'Why, if it isn't our mangy, transient grandfather.' ~ Texas Ranger
'Hey there, Popeye!' ~ Texas Ranger
'Aw, Grandma, not my prison shank!' ~ Texas Ranger
'Please let us not resolve our problems with fighting.' ~ Texas Ranger
'You look old, Granny are you gonna die today?' ~ Texas Ranger

School Days

Ricky Bobby: 'How was school today, boys?'
Walker: 'I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.'
Ricky Bobby: 'Sounds like a good day. How 'bout you, TR?'
Texas Ranger: 'The teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. I said Washington, D.C.'
Cal Naughton, Jr.: 'Bingo.'
Ricky Bobby: 'Nice.'
Texas Ranger: 'She said "No, you're wrong." I said "You got a lumpy butt." She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants and I never did change my pee-pants all day. I'm still sittin' in my dirty pee-pants.'
Cal Naughton, Jr.: 'I wet my bed until I was nineteen. There's no shame in that.'

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Chip: 'I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are terrible boys!'
Walker: 'Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!'
Texas Ranger: 'I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head!'
Cal Naughton, Jr.: 'Yeah!'
Ricky Bobby: 'Yeah! Now turn up the heat!'
Cal Naughton, Jr.: 'Go on and get some, boys!'
Ricky Bobby: 'Come on!'
Walker: 'I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass!'
Texas Ranger: 'Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!'
Cal Naughton, Jr.: 'Like a spider monkey! Go on!'
Ricky Bobby: 'Chip, you brought this on, man.'
Walker: 'Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw's a punk!'
Chip: 'What is wrong with you?'
Texas Ranger: 'Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!'