Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dirty Harry Dreams

Police Chief: 'Tony? I don't want to intrude, but you seem a little down.'
Tony Giardino: 'Well, Captain, it's about my job.'
Police Chief: 'Ah.'
Tony Giardino: 'I'm having doubts about being a cop. You know, it's not like how it is on TV. All I do all day is fill out forms and paperwork. I mean, this is what I do.'
Police Chief: 'It's a point well taken, Tony. But you must understand, although it's not exciting, it's a very important part of our work.'
Tony Giardino: 'Yeah, but in all my times as a cop, I've never gotten to, like, chase a guy across a crowded city square. I've never... I've never hung on to that part of a helicopter. You know that part? Underneath, the thing that it lands on? Do you, do you know that part?'
Police Chief: 'Yes, I know that part.'
Tony Giardino: 'I've never hung onto that. I've never even commandeered a vehicle.'
Police Chief: 'Now that sounds like a lot of fun.'
Tony Giardino: 'And that's the other thing. You're too nice.'
Police Chief: 'I'm too nice?'
Tony Giardino: 'Yeah, you're too nice. Why can't you be like the Captain on "Starsky and Hutch"? You know, when you come in, and you haul me into your office, and you bawl me out because you're sick and tired of defending my screwball antics to the Commissioner? Why cant you do that?'
Police Chief: 'Well, the truth of the matter is, I don't report to a Commissioner. I report to a committee. Some of whom are appointed, some elected, and the rest co-opted on a bi-annual basis. It's a quorum, so to speak.'
Tony Giardino: 'A quorum?'
Police Chief: 'Yeah.'
Tony Giardino: 'Captain, when I joined the police force, I thought I was going to be Serpico. But instead, I'm like... Fish from Barney Miller.'
Police Chief: 'Hey. Somebody needs a hug!'

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