Saturday, October 17, 2009

Career Day Advice

Reese Bobby: 'Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky.'
Ricky Bobby: 'Dad!'
Reese Bobby: 'Hey there, boy! Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months?'
Ricky Bobby: 'Ten years.'
Reese Bobby: 'Ten years? Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.'
Schoolteacher: 'Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here.'
Reese Bobby: 'Oh, it's all right, darling, I'm a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional race car driver and an amateur tattoo artist.'
Classmates: 'Oooohhhh!'
Reese Bobby: 'And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a race car driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.'
Schoolteacher: 'Okay, I think that's enough.'
Reese Bobby: 'Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid.'

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