Sunday, August 2, 2009

Customizing the Legal System

Vinny: 'My clients were caught completely by surprise. They thought they were getting arrested for shoplifting a can of tuna.'
Judge Chamberlain Haller: 'What are you telling me? That they plead not guilty?'
Vinny: 'No. I'm just trying to explain.'
Judge Chamberlain Haller: 'I don't want to hear explanations. The state of Alabama has a procedure. And that procedure is to have an arraignment. Are we clear on this?'
Vinny: 'Yes, but there seems to be a great deal of confusion here. You see, my clients...'
Judge Chamberlain Haller: 'Uh, Mr. Gambini?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: 'All I ask from you is a very simple answer to a very simple question. There are only two ways to answer it: guilty or not guilty.'
Vinny: 'But your honor, my clients didn't do anything.'
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Once again, the communication process has broken down. It appears to me that you want to skip the arraignment process, go directly to trial, skip that, and get a dismissal. Well, I'm not about to revamp the entire judicial process just because you find yourself in the unique position of defending clients who say they didn't do it.'

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